The hiatus is over - Part 3

I really need to get better at blogging. Here was my post from December 2010 (yes, 2 years ago).

"The hiatus is over - Part 2

So I find it funny that my last post was how I was going to start blogging again. And then I never did. Here I am, 14 months later, blogging again.

Seriously, this time for real, I'm going to blog on a more frequent basis. Let's be honest. It probably won't be everyday. I can't even tweet 140 characters on a regular basis. But I am going to try my very, very best. It's kind of like an early new years resolution. I realize that every post doesn't have to be a novel. I think that's what stopped me from blogging on a regular basis. And I realize that I don't have to be witty or creative. I just have to write. And see where the keyboard takes me. So let's raise our glasses to my early new years resolution - to regularly blog!

Oh yes, Merry Christmas."

Seriously - I'm serious this time. I'm going to blog on a more frequent basis. Seriously.

Reality TV

I have an addiction to reality TV. Okay, not all reality TV. Just the bachelor/bachelorette shows. I stay home to watch the show, then I read Chris Harrison's blog the next day. And then I google search to see what others are saying about the episode. That's not all. I think I follow every contestant on Twitter. I'm obsessed.

And I know I'm not alone. I know there are hundreds, if not thousands, of women out there who are just like me - obsessed with the bachelor/bachelorette franchise. And although I can only speak for myself, I think a lot of it has to do with what the franchise offers - hope.

Let's be honest. Maybe this series shouldn't be called "reality TV". Living in a mansion with 20 other men or women pining over an eligible bachelor or bachelorette isn't reality for most of us. My average dates rarely consist of private concerts, helicopters and exotic destinations.

But what makes this experience so real for viewers is that notion of hope. Hope that one day, we'll find our prince charming who will take us to private concerts, helicopter rides and exotic destinations. The show allows us to spend two hours a week in a reality that most viewers can only dream of. And if it allows viewers to be swept away to a world of hope, then so be it! Whether you're a fan of the show or not, you can't argue with hope!

Demophobia

Today is Boxing Day (Canada's equivalent of Black Friday for my US friends). I'm not a big fan of Boxing Day. Don't get me wrong. I love the sales. But when you have demophobia, it's really not the best day of the year for you.

Demophobia - the fear of crowds. Yup. I hate crowds. I get anxiety when it comes to crowded places. My heart starts pounding and my breathe becomes short. I hate crowds.

It's also why I don't like going to sporting events, or concerts, or movies on opening day. I panic about finding parking, then I panic about standing in line, and then I panic about finding my seat. Finally, when I'm seated, I can relax. I know. You laugh. It's strange.

I never had demophobia when I was a kid. Or I could have and am only now old enough to realize what it is. I have figured out ways around it. For example, if I go to a hockey game, I go extremely early and wait for others to leave before me. It's like having an food allergy. You learn to eat alternatives and don't let the allergy rule your life. I'm getting better at living with demophobia. Like today. I braved the mall. Okay, so it wasn't the biggest mall in the city. It was one of those neighbourhood malls with 50 shops. But I did it and I'm proud of myself. Maybe next Boxing Day, I'll hit up a mall with 100 stores! For now, I'll stick to online shopping.

The hiatus is over - Part 2

So I find it funny that my last post was how I was going to start blogging again. And then I never did. Here I am, 14 months later, blogging again.

Seriously, this time for real, I'm going to blog on a more frequent basis. Let's be honest. It probably won't be everyday. I can't even tweet 140 characters on a regular basis. But I am going to try my very, very best. It's kind of like an early new years resolution. I realize that every post doesn't have to be a novel. I think that's what stopped me from blogging on a regular basis. And I realize that I don't have to be witty or creative. I just have to write. And see where the keyboard takes me. So let's raise our glasses to my early new years resolution - to regularly blog!

Oh yes, Merry Christmas.

The hiatus is over

It's been a few months (27 to be exact - which by the way is my age) since I've posted on this blog. Partially because I feel I have no original thought, mostly because I've been busy. But today, here I am, continuing on a journey that even though I have left you wondering for 27 months, has still continued into my 27th year. Much as happened in the last 27 months. I have had some wonderful laughs, some emotional cries, some nervous jitters and some tranquil moments. All of which have helped me grow into the 20 something I am today. I feel that's what this blog is about...growth. It seems to be a theme in my entries. Perhaps this blog has helped me grow. So today I continue to write and today I continue to grow.

The eve of the start of my 25th year

So this is the day. It's the eve of the start of my 25th year. I can't believe that tomorrow, on 07/07/07, I will be a quarter century. The past 25 years have been some good years. I've grown and matured, started school, finished school and am now a working women. I've met amazing people along the way who have impacted my life tremendously. They've taught me what it means to live, to laugh, to cry, to fall and then to pick yourself up again. The have shaped who I am today. If there was one thing I wish I could have done more of, its to travel. But the bottom line is, I'm happy. I'm happy with where I am in my life today. I'm happy with the direction I'm heading and I'm excited for what the next 25 years have in store for me. I know they will be as amazing as the last.

Love

I received this a while back and found it while I was cleaning my inbox. I thought that it would be good to post. Enjoy.

Love

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person.

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens but oftentimes we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can just be with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it -- but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back!
Don't expect love in return -- just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from -- but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from their heart.

Never say good-bye if you still want to try -- never give up if you still feel you can go on -- never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go.

Love comes to those who still hope, although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe, although they've been betrayed, to those who still need to love, although they've been hurt before, and to those who have the courage and faith to build trust again.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone -- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Hope you find the someone that makes you smile.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life on this earth, and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human,
enough hope to make you happy and
enough money to buy me gifts.

Always put yourself in other persons shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too.

A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image -- otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried -- for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Personal growth

I'm one to believe that people come into your life for a reason. Whether they are friends whom you remain in contact with for the rest of your life, or whether they are friends who turn into enemies, each person has come into your life to help you grow as a person. They exemplify qualities that you hope to emulate or ones that you despise. But ultimately, each person teaches you something about yourself.

Every year, I think I mature. My perspective on life changes. My definition of friendship changes. My outlook on love changes. And these changes are a result of others. They are a result of what I see in people or what people have taught me. Every time I meet new people something about the way I live my life or the way I think changes.

It's quite funny. I pride myself on integrity, on my ability to make my own decisions and to make them wisely. Yet I seem to be dependent on others to shape my thoughts and my outlook on life. I guess you learn more about yourself by learning more about others. But others, I'm sure, grow based on who they come into contact with. For example, my friends define for me the meaning of friendship based on their actions towards me. I'm almost sure that the same is true for them. They base their meaning of friendship on my actions and how I treat them. So, am I just a product of myself? Some food for thought...

Broken Dreams

We live in a world of dreams. Dreams that aren't necessarily the best for us. Dreams that we know may never come true. But dreams hold us together. They keep us strong and enable us to live every day with hope. With that hope that one day, our dream will come true. Yesterday my dream broke. Today I wake up.

Letting Go

Letting go is probably one of the hardest things to do in life.

Ask a mother who sends her child off to college.
Ask a father who gives his daughter away at the alter.
Ask a little girl who has just lost her hamster.
Ask the young child who can't bring their teddy bear on the road trip.
Ask the elderly women who has lost her husband and companion of 65 years.
Ask the all star athlete who has just been traded from his only team.
Ask the girl who needs to let go of a dream that in her heart, she knows will never come true.

Dancing Queen

Do you ever wonder what you did in your past life? I don't mean what you did, in a negative way? I mean what you did as a job or a passion. I guess I should probably ask if you even believe in past lives. Believe in it or not, I think I was a dancer.

Yesterday as I sat on my couch and watched the two hour finale of Fox's "So you think you can dance" I came to the realization that I am obsessed with dancing. I must have been a dancer in my past life.

I can honestly say that I have watched every dancing movie that is out on video and DVD. Not to mention the complete first and second season's of "So you think you can dance" and of course, Dancing with the Stars. And the thing is, that when I watch these movies and TV shows, I feel so exhilarated and passionate about dancing. And what's funny is that I've never danced in my present life.

I think it's time for some dancing lessons.

Hidden Treasures

Everyone needs to take that one day off and enjoy the sunshine. That was what I did last Thursday. And a good tan wasn't the only thing I got out of the day.

My friend and I decided that we should do the one thing we always talk about doing, but never really get around to doing. And that was boating. All fears aside, we rented a 15' boat from Horshoe Bay for an hour and just drove around the water. What an amazing feeling. Gripping the side of the boat, riding the waves, discovering new islands, and trying not to run into ferries was exhilarating, especially for a first time boater as myself.


After our boating adventure we went to Wytecliff Park, a little rocky beach secluded from civilization. What a hidden treasure! Sure, there was no white sand, or lemonade stand. But there was a pleasant calmness and serenity. To our right there were families enjoying the cold water on a hot day, and to our left there were two men playing tranquil melodies on the guitar. It was the perfect atmosphere to an amazing day.

It was my goal this summer to discover beautiful British Columbia. I think I am one step closer when I found my hidden treasure.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Nothing beats a ladies only weekend. This past Canada Day long weekend, my girlfriends and I drove up to Whistler to spend a few days together to relax in the sun. Aside from getting our tan on and shopping in the village, it was the perfect opportunity to catch up and reminisce.

To me, that's the most important aspect of a weekend with your girls. Sure the drinks on the patio and the meeting new people is an added bonus, spending good quality time with the girls who are always there for you, no matter what, really puts a smile on your face and a warmth in your heart. Get the nachos cause I know that's a bit cheesy, but it's the truth.

Girlfriends are something that are so important. In all the years of my life, I've realized that your true girlfriends will always be there for you, through thick and thin. They'll laugh at your dumb jokes, wipe your tears when that guy of your dreams stomps on your heart, and they'll hold your hair back after a night on the town. Girlfriends are truly a blessing. And I'm glad I've been so blessed.

Love you ladies!

Beautiful BC

"Beautiful British Columbia." Yup, that's what it says on our license plates. This past week, I realized how beautiful BC is. For the first time, I drove to Nanaimo and then to Comox on Vancouver Island. After a pretty pleasant ferry ride and a short trip to my hotel (with a nicely upgraded room), I looked outside my window to see a beautiful ocean, speckled with boats and a narrow passage between mountains. The next day I had a native Nanaimo resident show me around the city. I was amazed at how vibrant the city was. But what struck me the most was not the number of Starbucks or McDonalds, it was that no matter what way you looked, you saw mountains. I was in awe.


The drive to Comox started off pretty boring. But one quick turn off the Inland highway, and we were driving along the coast - the scenic route. Or as the signs said, Oceanside route. It was beautiful. After the morning of touring around, we stopped for lunch at this little cottage called the Filberg Teahouse. To my surprise, right outside the front door was a deer! How often do you eat lunch with a deer?

It was at that point when I realized how lucky we are to live in such a beautiful province. You don't really discover it until you're forced to go. If it wasn't for this business trip, I don't think I would have ever realized the beauty of Vancouver Island.

My goal for the summer of 06 - Discover beautiful British Columbia!

... And then we die.

A couple nights back, I was in some deep conversation with a close friend of mine. The topic of choice was, of course, the meaning of life. My friend and I are basically at the same point in our life. Both she and I have taken the same steps to get to where we are today. We were born, went to elementary school, then high school. We went to university to get a degree and now we're working to make a living. A pretty standard life to say the least.

Today, we question why we do what we do. Being in my early 20's I still have a good 35-40 years of work left in me. Personally, I don't see myself working for that many years. But the other night I realized, what's the point?

What's the point of life? We're born, we do a whole bunch of stuff to fill in time, and then we die. Does it really matter what we do inbetween? Society places upon us a variety of rights and wrongs. Sure we try to live our lives with good morals and ethics. But does it really matter how we live our life? We constantly strive to be the best we can be. I guess that makes living worthwhile for some. For others, maybe not. But if we think about it in the sense that we're born, and then in the end, we die, does it really matter how we fill the inbetween?

Some Good Advice

"As we grow up we learn that even the one person that wasn't suppose to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."

The Other Side

Today I find myself on the other side. We've all been in situations, be it with a friend, a colleague, a partner, where we find ourselves vulnerable. Those who know me well, know that I am pretty naive. I guess it's an effect of being so trustworthy. When it comes to relationships, I put myself out there. And most of the time, I get hurt. Sure with any relationship comes happiness, sadness, good times and bad times. With every relationship there is bound to be some hurt. And I sure know what it feels like to be hurt. So as I go on with my life, I try real hard to treat others that way that I would like to be treated.

Here's some history. A couple months back, I was in a situation where I decided to suck it up my reluctance, put my feelings on the line and "date," only to find out that my date wanted to "just be friends." I don't think that I was as hurt as I was upset that I let myself be put in that situation. Today, I find myself on the other side.

You never really think about situations from the other person's perspective. You only think about yourself. It's human nature to be selfish. So what do you do when you're faced with being the one who has to hurt, instead of the one being hurt, knowing full well how it feels to be hurt? I'm not too sure. All I know is that finding myself on the other side, isn't all that fun.

Independence

Is there such a thing as being independent? I know that independence comes in many forms. For youth, it is oftentimes the idea of not being dependant on your parents anymore. And for a long time, that was independence for me. Sure, we all grow up. We don't ask our parents for money anymore, to pay for our clothes, our bills, our nights out. We don't rely on our parents for rides to the mall, to birthday parties and to the movies. Instead, we get full time jobs to earn money to pay for our clothes, our bills, our nights out. We buy the only car we can afford so that we can drive ourselves to the mall, to parties and to the movies. We start to do things for ourselves. Until we finally have the courage (and the money) to move out. Moving out - the pinnacle of independence. Paying for our own mortgage, our own bills, our own food, on top of the car and the entertainment expenses. We learn to budget for the pure need of survival. Survival based on no support from our parents.

Sure, this has always been my idea of independence. But I look back now and think, are we, am I, ever really going to be independent? Maybe physically, yes. I will not need my parents for survival. But emotionally, I don't think so. I think I'll always be dependent on my mom and dad for love, support, friendship, courage, motivation and to be that shoulder to cry on. I think I'll always be dependent on my tea for comfort, my computer to keep me organized, my cell phone to be connected, my hairdryer for non-frizzy hair. So I ask you, is there really such a thing as independence?

My disclaimer

Here is my blog, with my thoughts, my ideas, my assumptions, my discrection, my feelings, my wisdom, my ignorance, my critique, my heart on my sleeve. Enjoy!